Tombstone TraumaTM
by
Doug Srock
I have spent the better part of the winter, making trips to one of the cemeteries where hundreds of my family members are buried. It's one of those country cemeteries that was started in the early 1800's and almost all of the family has been buried there ever since. In one place I have scouted and recorded 6 generations of my family.
That's the good part!
While on this winter quest, I have experienced what I now declare as my Trademarked phrase.
Tombstone TraumaTM
Now, here is what I define as Tombstone TraumaTM. It's the feeling that you get when you are working in a cemetery and you come upon a tombstone that has become almost unreadable without using some secret government technology. You've managed to read it using all of the suggested safe methods but you know that if you don't do something soon, the information will be gone except in the transcription you have made!
Any person who really cares about their family history, gets a sick feeling every time they find a tombstone like this. Most people would love to do the valiant thing and replace the stone with something better, but they hit two road blocks almost immediately.
The first, is the fact that tombstones are expensive! Even a small rectangular stone can cost $400 or more. It seems crazy for a piece of rock, but the marketplace allows this and the genealogist with the good intentions is often thwarted by the fact that they could now possibly pay this, especially if they encounter more than one stone that needs replaced.
The second issue that comes into play is the fact that many cemeteries will not allow you to replace a stone without the permission of the lot owners. It doesn't help to tell them that your great great grandparents died 157 years ago because they will tell you to find out who holds the deed to the lots. This means that you will have to find several generations of executors in order to determine who currently can claim ownership to the lots. this may entail getting signatures from people in multiple generations and can make the task almost impossible.
I told someone this the other day and she declared me negative! It sometimes hurts to hear news, but I'd rather give someone a small dose of reality, than to see them launch unaware into a dark logistical abyss.
While the cemetery may not allow you to replace a stone, they may have no objections to you adding an additional stone or marker to the lot. This can be placed in front of the current stone and used to renew the identity of the individuals buried. It often has the same affect as a military stone that is placed on or near a veteran's grave.
If you are one of those people who has the best of intentions but can't afford the solution and none of your family will help, then at minimum do the following.
1. Take a good picture of the stone.2. Record as much information off of the stone as you can read.
3. Submit the picture and the information to your local historical society.
By following these three easy steps you can do your part in securing the information for future generations and at the same time keep a small part of history alive. These three steps are also a way to relieve some of the anxiety and symptoms of
Tombstone TraumaTM