First of all, I use a semi-formal header for many of my Genealogical Headers and my envelope.

Your Name
Pennsylvania ?????? Family Researcher (Example)
P.O. Box ####
Anytown, State #####

1. This gives them your name
2. It tells them why you are writing
3. It gives them your location.

I also include a phone number in most letters and an email address.
It gives the recipient of the letter two or three ways to contact me.

Then I start the letter informally,

Dear Distant Cousin Ralph,(Example)

This personalizes the letter more than a Dear Mr. Ralph Keith would.
It let’s Ralph know you are family and that your purpose is friendly, and not too formal.

Then I go into the meat of the letter.

I am writing you to try to find out a piece of information that is missing from my research records. I have been researching the Keith family in your area since 1974 and I need to know exactly how you are related to John and Mary Keith who had the farm near Grass Hill.

I’m guessing that you are their grandson, but I am not sure who your father was, since public records aren’t readily available for this time period to us researchers. I would certainly appreciate your help in connecting the dots in my search.

Please feel free to contact me either by letter using the enclosed stamped envelope, telephone or email. I am usually easiest to catch by email.

Sincerely,

Cousin Your First Name.

One issue for the first letter, don’t go for broke! Don’t kick down the wall too hard on the first contact. If Cousin Ralph is willing to talk to you he will respond; if he isn’t, he won’t. If he doesn’t respond, you can try again, but if he does respond, then you can GENTLY ask any additional questions. keep the first letter SIMPLE!

BE AWARE Ladies tend to answer these requests far more than men. Ladies tend to write more. So if you can find out the Wife’s first name, you might gain her as an ally in your quest.

Never overwhelm anyone you write with too many requests. They’ll get irritated fast. Also be sure to let these people know if you are publishing or not. They have the right to know if the information they provide is going to be published!

Also, if you are writing someone elderly, it helps to use a FONT that is larger than standard font. It also helps to space the lines apart more than standard spacing. Many elderly people have eyesight issues.

This type of letter works for most situations. I did have one situation long ago where a cousin was not responding, so I used my IBM Selectric with a piece of Art paper and told her everything I already knew about the family and what pieces I needed filled in. When she spotted some specific things in the large letter, she knew that I was aware of a certain situation with one of my relatives. Only then did she call and make contact. On that one occasion I did break my own rule and kick down the wall, but only after three years of non-response.

So, be gentle with your first letter and build a new helper in your Genealogical Quest. If you luck out and find a letter writer with a lot of family knowledge, you’ll gain a load of information and tons of new family contacts. It makes the quest a far more fun and personal adventure.

In a nutshell, they give you a human perspective to the research that can add a lot of color to what you have learned. But, in order to obtain this information, you have to Catchem BEFORE They Croak. Here’s a series of methods that I have used to facilitate gathering this information.

Many years ago, when I first began to be interested in my family, I spoke to my Grandfather, my mother’s father, about his family. He gave me very little information to go on. I spent a lot of time researching documents and NOT looking for other members of the family, who might be able to tell me more than grandfather ever told me. What I found out years later, was that there were a lot of people still alive then, who that by the time I got to looking for people, had died.

So, the first thing you want to do, is sit down and make a list of older people you might be able to get information from. Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents, Cousins,et…..the older the better. Do not hesitate to break away from your immediate family and start to work your extended family. In the case of my family, I found out too late, that there were great Uncles and Aunts that I had missed and some cousins of my father and mother that were far older than they were. My father had cousins who were born in the 1880′s and aunts and uncles who dated clear back into the 1860′s.

The same was true on my mothers side. We found out just recently that one of her uncles had died at the age of 95+. I figured he had died years ago, because everyone had lost touch with him after he divorced my Great Aunt. As it turned out, my one uncle had been sending Christmas Cards to him for years and had never told anyone. Only when my uncle died, did his wife ask me who some of the people were he had been sending cards to for all those years. Go figure.

Now, how do you want to approach getting information from someone. First of all most older people get a kick out of talking to someone and receiving visits. But, they can also be the quickest people to close the door on you if you ask too much, or if you want to talk about anything they consider an embarrassment. Many years ago, I was recording a cousin of my grandfather’s and everything was going fine until I asked about her father. He had committed suicide. While I did not ask specifically about his suicide, I did ask if he was suffering with any illnesses when he died. She clammed up on my like someone had flipped a switch and I got no more out of her. Luckily, I got other information before I upset her. I pushed the envelope too far.

On the other hand, I talked to her sister in law and she told me all sorts of things about the family and gave me many additional leads. Two women from the same branch and virtually the same sub-branch and between the two, it was a really solid set of information. Both ladies are dead now…luckily I caughtem before they croaked.

I have used letters, direct interviews, recordings and telephone calls to get information from various people. I find that in-person contact usually works best. Give them a chance to talk and tell you their version of events. I have used audio recording and have never tried video. I have heard others who have had great success with video. Some people like to be on camera. Make sure you have written down all your questions before the discussion, so you don’t forget anything. Sometimes you can’t go back and you’ll miss key things by failing to prepare.

Another resource you want to interview is neighbors. In the case of my mother’s side, they lived in a small back-woods town. It was a two church, one store town, an hour drive from any town that would be called sizable. I stopped at the store on one of my trips and the owners, while not direct family, pointed me to several local people who were willing able to help me. They also gave me directions to an old farm cemetery, that I never would have found on my own. It was literally, through the cornfield, past the pumpkins and just this side of the trees. I found it by falling into one of the sunken graves. The cemetery had been undermined by a huge coal mine.

Be aware that not everyone wants to talk about everything. While you might be fascinated by everything, that doesn’t always apply to folks who lived the events directly. Also understand that everything you hear is not Gospel. In fact, a lot of what you hear may turn out to be wrong. Stories I have heard along the way have turned out to be total figments of imaginations. Also, don’t trust names and dates and make sure to get full names and not shortened versions or nicknames. One of my Keith relatives was referred to as “Wartch”. For years everyone researching the line, tried to find Wartch with absolutely no luck. Wartch turned out to be George Washington Keith.

Watch out for nicknames especially for those living from th 1910-1940 time period. You can be pretty sure that if you find a Whitey, Buzz, Greasy, Skip, Pickles, Fuzz, or Scooter, those are not their real names; though I have found a few rare cases where they are given names.

If you can, take these old people to a cemetery and have them point out relatives. I did this and discovered far more people than I ever realized were related. It can be a gold mine of additional information for your search.

Last but certainly not least, don’t forget to do something nice for these people when they help you. It can be as simple as a thanks, but I usually tried to do something more. A holiday card, a small gift were sent to many a person who, helped along the way.